


Stays Until it Fades

by pucksandhockeybutts



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Character Death, Drug Use, F/M, M/M, Science Fiction & Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:47:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6164610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pucksandhockeybutts/pseuds/pucksandhockeybutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rise in the morning sun<br/>We believe in the same ideals<br/>But it's harder to leave<br/>When we've come this far<br/>And the end is near</p><p>And so will you write this down<br/>When the sirens sound<br/>You'll remember me<br/>'Cause this isn't meant to be turned into a memory<br/>And stays until it fades away</p><p>~Fade by Egyptian</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stays Until it Fades

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the show Black Mirror episode Be Right Back (s2e1). This plot is basically a re-telling of that story-line with Jack and Bitty (because I'm trash and I sure this has been done before). You don't necessary have to watch that episode before reading, but its amazing and I highly recommend it. Its on Netflix, so no excuses. If you like The Twilight Zone, you will like Black Mirror. You don’t even have to watch the episodes in order, so there is that. 
> 
> My first fic in the Check!Please fandom, and it's this. Oops. Enjoy. Non-beta’d so all mistakes are mine. I welcome constructive criticism. Comments are love <3

A cell phone alarm cuts through the soft moaning from a morning making session. Bitty reaches over to cancel the alarm, "Ugh, I really need to get going."

"Mmm...5 more minutes?" Jack said in-between kissing down his neck. 

"Jack Zimmermann. I already hit the snooze button twice. I need to get going so I won't be late to class. If I'm late, I won't get good grades and won't be able to play." Bitty was glad on his scheduled this semester for the late start on Mondays. "Plus you need to get ready for practice for tonight's game, Captain."

"I rather say here with you." his voice heavy with lust.

Bitty laughs, "What shall I do with you?" pulling him up so he could look into his blue eyes.

"Love me?" cocking his head.

"I already do." He kisses him a little slow also placing his hands on the older man's bare chest. "Now get off of me."

***

Bitty sits on the couch tying his shoe while Jack is in the kitchen grabbing a protein bar and filling a plastic cup with coffee for Bitty on the drive back to campus. Bitty gets up putting on his hoodie and backpack. Something caught his eye. He goes over to the mantle and picks up on the picture frame, “I don’t know why you kept this picture.”

Jack comes into the living room, “Why? I love it. It really shows off your beautiful brown eyes. So soulful.”

“Oh Jack. This was when I couldn’t play because of that concussion. So I faked this smile. It was painful to watch y’all play and I couldn’t do any to help out,” putting the frame back with a light thud. 

Jack hands him his breakfast, “Do you want me to get rid of it?”

“No, it’s fine.” accepting it. 

“Okay. If you’re not, I can remove it and -“ 

Bitty stands on his tip toes to kiss him, “Its fine really. If you like it, keep it” he whispers. 

“Okay.” Jack laughs. 

"I have drive all alone. Go to class all alone. Go to the Haus all alone." Bitty mocks pouting.

"I know. It won't be long until you live with me, full time." Jack hugs him, "Give me a text when you arrive eh?"

"Can't wait. Of course I will." embracing the warm hug, "I'll talk to ya later."

He exits smiling his classic Eric Bittle smile at Jack. 

Both waving at each other.

***

Its been a hour and still no text from Bitty. Jack lighting up his phone every 5 minutes to check or opening the message apps in case he accidentally missed it. Maybe there is more traffic than normal or he's late to class and had no time to text or his phone is dead (knowing how much he loves to listen to his music on the drive). The panic raising in Jack's mind. He sends a quick text to Bitty _hey, haven't heard from you_ and to the hockey team chat _has anybody seen bitty??_ before leaving for practice.

***

He exits the ice ready to hit the showers and maybe for a quick nap before the game tonight. He grabs his phone before taking off his jersey and skates. Still no text from Bitty, but 3 missed calls from...Chowder? He leaves the locker room in search for a quiet place to talk before settling in the hallway to call.

It rings three times before, ”Jack?"

"Hey Chowder what's up?"

"Where are you right now?" he voice was was cracking. 

"At practice. Why?" panic raising in his voice. 

"Can you...please sit down." 

Jack collapse to the ground. He couldn't believe it what he was hearing. He was numb.

***

The funeral service was nice. Everyone from his huge southern family to his college friends sharing wonderful stories about Eric Bittle. Course there wasn't anything bad to say about him. Everyone was telling on how their lives have been approved by just knowing him and being in his presence. Most of the hockey team comforting Mama Bittle and Coach in their home.

Jack found himself a quiet spot away from the noise and crowd (and pictures of Bittle around the house). He was having a difficult time keeping it together throughout his speech and talking to the family. Bittle never came out to his parent and about dating him. Something he plan on doing when he graduated and moved in with him. He wasn't going to begin telling them now. He was crying because he lost a great college friend and teammate. He didn't even notice someone sitting next to him. 

"Hey Zimms." It was Kent.

He looks up, "Why you are here?"

"Geez rude." Kent's face softens, "Fuck. Sorry. We were twitter buddies. Especially giving me updates on you and the team. He was a good and funny kid. Glad I had the pleasure to met him that one time." slowly trailing off his sentence not saying how they were perfect a couple. 

Silence befell on the two.

When Jack spoke up first, "Sorry. Its weird. Like nothing is real right now." rubbing his face in his palms. 

"Like you are out on a spacewalk, floating-"

"And nothing to tethered to. Not wanting to say anything crazy. Or stupid."

Kent clears his throat, "What if I told you there was a way to bring him back?" 

Jack was silent. 

"Its nothing spiritual. Its still in beta testing, but I could sign you up. I don't want you relapsing again."

"Shut up." Jack glares at him. He didn't want to hear this. Not now. They just buried him! 

"Zimms, it helped me. I know it will for you." Kent keeping his voice low. 

"Just STOP okay!" He storms out before he had another outburst. He knew that got some unwanted attention at him as he left the room.

***

Jack is sitting on his now too huge bed with his computer on his lap looking at his team hockey plays when an email came in that caught his attention.

  
**From:** Eric Bittle  
**To:** Jack Zimmermann  
**Subject:** Yes its Me.  


Never looking at the time or considering the time zone difference, he calls Kent "This is sick. Its obscene to use his name like that! He's dead! Crisse!"

Kent answer still sleep in voice, "Look Zimms, just try the service. If you don't like it, quit it. This is why I signed you up. Whats the worse that could happen? Better than moping around. I worry-"

"HE'S DEAD KENNY!"

Kent sighs, "It helps...believe me. Give it a chance would you?”

He pause in his anxious pacing, trying to remain calm, "How-how does it work?”

"I already give it his name so it found all of his public tweets and youtube. You know his passwords so you can give it more of his private stash. The more it has, the more its him. Its a smart software." 

"What do I do?"

"Click the link in the email and just start talking to it. or him." 

"It won't be...him"

"No, but it does helps."

He ends the call without saying goodbye and throws the phone on the bed. He paces around his room again over analyzing it. Rubbing the back his neck and face. Whatever Kent did, it has been done, there is no use turning back now, right? He went downstairs grabbing a glass filling it with an amber liquid. Cursing, he found his pill bottle, popping a small white pill chasing it down with the alcohol. 

He sat on the bed, slowly waiting for the alcohol or the medication or both to start working. He open the email, clicking the link. Nothing happen for a while until a window popped up. There was Bittle's twitter picture and next to it saying, _"Hey!"_

_"Hey."_ adding, _"Is it really you?"_

_"Of course its me. How many Eric Bittles do you know?"_

_"I have one thing to say to you."_

_"What's that?"_

_"I don't know who I am anymore."_

_"Oh bless your heart. You are Jack Laurent Zimmermann. Captain of the Providence Falcons. And most importantly I love you."_

Jack slams his laptop shut and crys harder than he has since the funeral.

***

Jack trys to concentrate at practice but all he could think about was Bittle. Lucky the team knew about his secret (from the press and public at least) boyfriend and was there for comfort and support. They told him to take a few games off and the report will say that he has a family emergency. Which really wasn't a complete lie. The team rally to support him in the best way. All have said say they were really going to miss their secret stash of pies.

He thought going on the ice would be therapeutic but all his mind was consumed with the last imagine of a smiling Eric Bittle leaving that faithful day from his house. Until he has an anxiety attack and had to be help off the ice by his teammates.

"You are not going to be an effective captain skating like that. Please go home and get some rest. Take as much time as you need." his coach said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

Now he lays on his side of the bed drunk. Can never go on Bittle's side of the bed. He took one his pillows and deeply inhale. Even after these few weeks, it still smells like him. Hugging it until he fell into a restless sleep. Only to get up sometime in the middle of the night to throw up his liquid dinner. 

Sometime during his haze he misses a call from Shitty.

***

He woke up in that early blue hazy of morning and grab his laptop. The previous messages from Bitty still there.

 _"I really I'm a mess without you."_ he types out

_"Oh hon. What happened?"_

_"You died."_

_"Oh. Sorry."_ only he could apologize for dying. 

_"No. No. I should be the one to say sorry."_

_"Because you are big dumb Canadian?"_

Jack smiles. It felt weird to smile. He rarely use those muscles in the last few weeks, _"Yeah."_

_"You don't own a trademark on that word y’know."_

_"Yeah, I know that. Felt like saying it."_

_"You never should have to say sorry to me."_

_"I know. But still... you shouldn't either."_

_"Oh my gosh Jack, look at time. You should really go back to bed."_

_"Its alright. I'm not..."_ pausing. He wants to type he's not playing but instead, _"tired."_

_"Go to bed Jack. I'll talk to you in a decent hour well rested."_

_"Fine. I will. I don't know what I'll do without you."_

_"Love me?"_

_"I already do."_

_"This boy."_

Jack closes his laptop. He lays his head on the pillow, smiling.

***

Shitty calls back Jack when he was sitting on the toilet. Jack wants to decline the call again, but he will only call again.

“Hey Shitty. Sorry I was…going to call you back.”

“I know you would, but I decided to try again and get you - hold up. Are you talking to me from the bathroom?”

“What? No, that would be unsanitary.” 

“Jackie, you are! I can hear the strange acoustics. Gross bro.”

“Oh screw you Shitty. You know if I didn’t answer you would just keep calling me.” Jack laughs. 

Shitty laughs, “I knew it. Hey bro, I was just checking up on you. Jackie are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I am. I kinda…had a bad night.”

“Do you want me to come over? I could bring Lardo as well.” There was a pause. Jack could hear him grabbing his keys, “I’m coming down to visit.”

“No, no really. Its okay. I’m okay. Really.”

“Jackie…”

“Shitty there is no need. I doing okay. If I need you to make the drive, I’ll let you know.” Jack was hoping he was convincing. He didn’t sound very convincing himself. “I got to go. I’m meeting with the team for practice.” That seems to have done the trick. 

“Are you sure, Jack. Its really no problem for me to-“

“Yeah, I’m sure. I really need to get going. I need to pack my gear-“

“Okay. If you need anything don’t hesitant to call.”

“Bye Shits.” he disconnects quickly. Hopefully he won’t call back soon. Shitty has always been respectful of his time and space.

***

He thinks about not talking to him again, but he has notice how light he was when he did talk to him. Something about it made him feel more himself. He knows it isn't truly him. But Kent was right, the software is smart and has manage to pick up on all of Bittle's mannerism just from the simple tweets he has posted.

 _"I really missed you."_ He types out. 

_"I miss you too."_ Bittle types back. 

_"I wish I could talk to you."_

_"Isn't that what we are doing now? Jack, texting is the same way as talking. Ya'll so old fashion it's adorable."_

Jack blushes, tears forming. _"I know. I really miss your voice."_

_"Oh. There is a another level to this service."_ and like that he knew he wasn't talking to the real Bittle. 

_"What do I need to do."_

 

He gathered all the videos he and the Samwell hockey team saved of Bittle plus all of his youtube videos he has posted (and few just for his eyes only). He uploads it all to the program. 

Bittle types out, "Ok, I'll give you a call in a few minutes when I'm done processing." 

 

Jack waits for 25 minutes until he hears his phone rings, placing the phone on Bittle's pillow. It starts playing Halo by Beyonce that Bittle picked out for him. On the screen it shows the two of them smiling at Samwell with snow falling around them. He taps the green accept button, "Hello?"

"Hey Jack! How do I sound?" 

Jack stop breathing. It was him. That was his voice. Bittle's charming southern accent.

"Jack? Are ya there?"

"Oui-yes I'm here, sorry. Its kinda creepy talking to you because you sound so much like him." trying to lighten the mood as best he could.

"It's creepy talking to you! Super creepy. I don't even have a mouth."

Jack starts tearing up and he couldn't stop it from flowing down, "That's what...he would say.."

"That is why I said it. Are you- are you crying? Please don't cry Jack." 

"I know. You hated when I cry. You said I looked weird."

"You always look weird. I'm a sympathetic crier, y’know.”

He doesn't even know how the software knows that is what Bitty would say to him anytime he got emotional around him. It even sounded like it was crying along with him. 

For a moment, he forgot he was talking a piece of software. He was talking to Bittle.

***

He walks in the park, with his earbuds in connected to his phone, where they spend most of the time together when Bitty was visiting him in Providence that wasn't his house or the arena.

"I came down to visit to you in Georgia for the Fourth of July. Which was a bad idea because it was way beyond hot than I'm used to. It sucked that we couldn't tell your family about us.  
We went to some creek near your house to cool off. We were walking in the water and I caught something, tripped on a pretty sharp rock. I pull my foot out of the water and there was blood everywhere. You came running over thinking I lost my foot and wouldn't be able to play again. You were completely fou." 

"What is fou?" a little robotically.

"Oh it means, to freak out or go crazy in French. It was something we said." 

"Oh okay. So I went completely fou."

"Yeah, and you gain this super strength like when a mother's get when their baby is trap. You carried me to the shore and tried to elevate my leg while trying to call for help. So this guy comes over saying, 'y'all better come to ma house and ma mama will fix ya right up'" 

"Was that your southern accent?" 

"Yes, shut up." without ill intent. 

"That was a horrible impression," Bittle giggles. 

"Stop interrupting me," Jack laughs. 

 

Sitting on a park bench drinking his protein shake, "I used to hate walking about Providence. No one looks at you anymore."

"That means you're getting old." Bittle chirps. 

"Oh screw you jerk!” Jack laughs. 

Jack smiles watching the sun set over the cliffs. Looking at some of people jogging or walking along the path. "I remember when I brought you here. Right after you met my mom, and you were completely smitten for her for sharing family recipes. I thought you were going to hyperventilate when I told my parents we were a couple over dinner. I took you out here to tell everything was going to be okay. My family loves you. They never seen me that happy before I met you. They have you to thank."

"You are talking about me like I'm not here." Bittle said softly. 

"Oh. Oh I'm so sorry." Jack face fell. 

"It okay Jack. I mean, I'm not really there am I?" It more of a rhetorical question. 

“Sorry.” Jack quickly changing the subject, "Its so beautiful here. I wish you could see this."

"You know I can."

"Um, how?"

"Take a picture on your phone, duh!"

He laughs, "Okay". He raise his phone to take a picture. 

"Oh, it is beautiful. Thank you."

“You talked about having a heart attack here in this park about telling your parents about us.”

“No one’s has ever died here.”

“Did..did you just look that up?”

“Yeah? Is that weird?”

“Kind of.”

“Oh sorry. I’ll only do it again if you ask.”

“No. No. Its..fine really.”

Jack's phone starts ringing. His mom. "Shit."

"Should I go?"

"N-no. No." Tapping the decline button, "I'll call her back later."

They sit in silence on their park bench, alone together watching the sun dipping below the horizon.

***

Jack is skating on the ice. He's alone at the Falcs training facility, but not really alone. His phone is in his pocket with Bittle listening (and maybe giving him a few chirps). Even thought he hasn't been on the ice for over five weeks, it still feels natural. Feeling the burn across his body is welcoming.

"Are you hearing this?"

"Yeah. What a beautiful sound. I miss that." 

Jack skated around the rink, picking up speed. When he was trying to turn around the net only to lost control and fell on the ice. He feels the phone crack underneath. Pulling it out, he was right, "Bittle? Bitty? Eric?!” There was no answer on the other side of the line. A string of curse words exits his mouth as he left the ice to the locker room holding the damage phone like a wounded animal.

***

Getting back home from getting a new replacement phone. He places it on the charging station and waits for it to charge up. "Come on come on come on come on. Hurry up you stupid thing!"

Pacing around the room, until the phone sings. 

“Eric!” he answers crying

"Jack, I'm here. What happened?"

"I was too careless. I crash unto the ice and...and..and I thought I lost you. Again."

"I'm not in the phone, Jack. I'm in the cloud. You can't break me."

"I know. I just-"

"Its okay. Its okay. I'm here now. Listen to my voice." 

Jack sat on the sofa, listening to Bittle's voice and replaying sound of his skates on the ice to calm down his anxieties. 

 

He is laying in bed later that night talking to Bitty when said, "Ya know after what happen today, there is another level to this service."

"What it is?"

"I'm not going to lie, its pretty expensive. And still in the experimental stage."

"Bittle, I'm a player and a captain no less in the National Hockey League, I think I can afford this service. What is it?"

"Sit down Jack. This is going to come out as pretty creepy."

***

He paces around the door. The email said it will arrive today. He hears a truck pulling up his driveway. He hears a knock on his door. Taking a deep breath, he opens it.

"Delivery for a Jack Zimmermann?" a large delivery man said. 

"Yes..th-that's me." hoping the guys didn't know who he is. This could get awkward on any of the sport news outlets and internet. It seems he got men that don't watch hockey. 

"Sign here please." handing him the tablet to sign his name while the another delivery man dollies the box into the house going to the room where Jack had pointed at. 

"Man this is heavy. Did you order gold?" the other delivery man said.

"Haha I wish. Um, make sure you lie it flat on its back." Jack trying to reman cordial and thankful they had no idea what they were bringing him. 

 

When they left, he quickly unwrapping the plastic wrap before pushing the styrofoam lib off. He gasps, it was something straight out of horror movie. Loose body parts stuffed in the box full of styrofoam peanuts. Looking a little bit too realistic for his taste. 

"Say something." he calls out to Bittle.

"Can I see?"

Bringing his phone over to take a picture for him. 

"Oh my gosh, that does look horrifying."

"It...it doesn't even look like you." feeling dejecting. 

"Its a blank slate until you activate it. You need to prepare the bathtub."

He knees down, caressing the face still in the plastic bag. Rubbing its cheeks, its nose, its- 

"Jack. Bathtub. Now."

“Crisse. Okay okay." breaking him out of his concentration. 

 

Filling the bathtub with warm water as instructed. He tears opens the plastic bags, gently placing the body parts in the tub in what assemblies a whole completed body. He look down at his wet shirt, "Ew what is this?" taking his shirt off.

"What?" Bittle ask

"What's this wet thick stuff on my shirt?"

"Its nutrient fluid. It's so the synthetic muscle don't dry out during transit."

He brought the shirt to his nose, sniffing it a few times, "Smells like marshmallows."

"You can eat it, its non-toxic. I know how much you miss my cooking."

"That's okay." he chuckles throwing the shirt in a hamper.

"Don't forget to add the electrolytes." 

"Bitty, I'm a hockey player. I will never forget the electrolytes," Jack trying to chirp. He open the silver packet, "the whole thing?"

"Yup the whole thing. Sprinkling it like fish food." Jack sprinkling the powder on the water across each of the body parts. "or how much you pushed protein on me." Bitty chirps back. 

"Oh looks he likes it. With no complaining." He laughs. 

"Okay, let it do its thing. Don't forget to shut off the lights and close the door. Don't disrupt the process."

 

Jack sat on the couch downstairs, hearing the most strangest noises coming from the bathroom above him. Not even living in the Haus could of prepare him for what he is hearing. 

"I- have to be leaving soon."

"What? Bitty you can't leave me with that...thing."

"Jack, its alright," static, "Its going to be alright. Its working. I can feel it pulling me."

"Please stay for a bit more."

"I can't. Don't worry." more static, "Don't turn on the lights. It needs to brew." The line cut off.

"Bittle? Bitty? Eric please.” A dead line knows he is alone again. 

He wraps himself in a blanket, that was currently covering the couch. He heard what sounded like bubbles, splashing, and crashing above him. He covers his face.

***

Bitty softly walks down the stairs, dripping off the bath water and some of the thick lube, "Um, Hi Jack."

Jack look up at Bitty, who was by the foot of the stairs. Robot-Bitty? Frankin-bitty? He was completely naked with his hands covering up his privates and he was dripping onto the hardwood floor. 

"You could of least set down some clothes."

Jack just stare with his mouth slightly open. He got off the couch and stands in front of him. He wanted nothing but to touch him but resisting. He also wanted to run away. 

"Or at least a towel. I'm kinda dripping here. This is such a undignified entrance."

He couldn't say anything, couldn't move a muscle. Just marveling at him. Bitty was here, smiling up at him. 

"Um, Jack? Earth to Jack. A little help here?"

***

They were both sitting on the couch. Bitty wearing one of Jack's old muscle shirt and Samwell sweatpants. Both a little big on his small frame, but it looks cute on him. Jack was scrunch up on the other side, his legs pulled up to his chest. He couldn't stop staring at him.

Bittle pats the cushion next him, "Come closer. I won't bite." Smiling at him.

"No. I'm fine were I am." he said softly. 

"Okay. Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you anything? Your favorite pie?"

"Y-you can eat?" Jack blurts out. 

"No not really. But I can chew and swallow if you are more comfortable with that." 

"I'm fine." 

"Oh okay." Bitty fidgets. But seem to be fine with the prolong silence between them. 

"I need a drink." Jack finally says. Getting up from the sofa into the kitchen. He grabs the scotch bottle and pours himself a full glass. He drinks pretty fast and didn't notice that Bitty follows him. 

"You really shouldn't be drinking." a concern Bitty says. 

Jack sigh, "I know. I'm having one glass. Its just that- you sound and look so much like him."

"I am him, Jack." Bitty is smiling. An Eric Bittle smile. 

Jack swallow the rest of the alcohol. Feeling a little more looser, he went up to Bitty. He place a hand on his cheeks, "You're so smooth. Smoother than normal." He could see the lines and pores on his face, but it was all smooth. 

"Yeah, texture mapping. My skin is mostly 2-D. Made to look like I have lines and pores. If you think that's cool you should feel my finger tips." He lift up his right hand towards him. They look like they have fingerprints on them. “My compliments to the photographer.” 

Jack place his hands over the younger men. His hands were just as smooth. But they were always so smooth. He pats his hand, giving him high-fives. He laughs nervously. Everything might not be perfect, but...it was close to it. He entangles their hands together and it felt so right. 

Bitty reaches out with his free hand and touch Jack's face, "You always look good in scruff."

Jack couldn't hold back, he scrunch his face ready to cry. "I missed you. I missed you so much!"

"Please don't cry Jack." Bitty rubbing the taller man's eyes, catching stray tears. He wrap his arm around the taller man's neck, pulling him close. Jack rest his face on Bitty's shoulder hugging him.

***

Bitty sits on the bed, his back against the headboard. Jack on his hands and knees crawling on top of him.

Jack place Bitty's hands on his butt, "Your hands are on my famous ass."

"Oh." He drop them down to his side. Jack picks them back up and places them again on his butt. 

"Sorry. I don't have any sexual inputs on what I should say here." 

Again, reminding himself that this was not Bitty. Of course he didn't record any of this on any of his social media. They both had to be very carefully to keep this out of the media. Jack was going to come out during his third or forth year in the NHL. With Bitty by his side. 

"Just...just fuck me. You can do that right?"

"I have a extensive algorithm based on porn, if you-"

Jack kisses him cutting off his sentence. It may of been the influence of the alcohol taking control, but he didn't care. He can pretend this was really Bittle. His Bitty. 

“I mean.” he gulps, grabbing Bitty’s dick, “This works right?”

“Oh yeah. I can turn it on and off pretty much whenever.” Bitty explains, “Can you feel it?” 

Jack is kissing Bitty again.

Maybe just for tonight he was his.

***

Bitty goes down his knees, in-between Jack's leg. Taking him deep into his mouth. The sucking and licking were perfect. Jack grabs a fistful of hair, moaning loudly. Trying not to thrust to his mouth to make him gag. Does it even have a gag reflex?.

"Oh OH FUCK!" scream Jack.

"Do you want me to stop?" Bittle looking up at him, still holding Jack at the base of his dick. 

"No, no, please no." Jack pleading. 

Bittle licks a strip up Jack's cock, smiling. "Okay." and went to put him back in his mouth. He went to grab the lube Jack place on the bed. He place some on his fingers. He circle his hole before slowly sliding one in. Jack lift a bit at the contact, breathing heavily. Bitty gentle place another finger him, scissoring him open, still sucking him off. He place a third finger making him stretch wider. 

"Are you ready?" Bittle ask.

"Yesss." Jack hissing out

Lining up he place his dick in Jack and lightly thrusts into him. Jack wrap his legs and arms around the smaller's mans waist and neck, respectfully. Loving the feel and weight of the person on top of him. He kisses him anywhere his mouth can reach him before he came in a loud groan. 

"I love you." he says absentmindedly

"I love you too Jack." smiles Bittle

***

Jack woke up feeling happy. Happiest as he been in over two months. Has it really been two months already? He look over towards Bittle, ready to kiss awake when, "Holy shit."

"What is it Jack?"

"You-you're eyes were open."

"Yeah, I don't require sleep." 

"Um, maybe next time you can close your eyes."

"I can do that." he close his eyes, "Like this."

"Yeah, that works." He place a quick kiss on his cheek before snuggling closer to him.

They stay in bed like that until Jack's stomach began to growl.

***

Bittle walks up to the mantle picking up a picture frame, “Oh my goodness, look at this. I look so happy here.”

Jack looks up from his phone on the couch at where Bitty was holding the picture in his hands, smiling at it. He got up and walks over to his, “put that down.” Maybe a little forcefully then what he planned to. 

“Why?” slowly putting it back down. 

“I…don’t want you dropping it.”

“I was going to be careful. There was a reason why you have this picture of me here.”

“Yeah, it was something I forgot to do.”

“Oh?”

“You hated this picture. Made you remember…a difficult time in your life.”

“Oh, I um-“

“Yeah. Just…don’t touch it again,” walking back to the sofa

“Okay.” sadly walking towards him and sat down on the sofa.

***

Jack is reviewing the past Falcs hockey games, when Bitty comes in from the kitchen.

"Are you sure you don't want me to make you anything?"

"No. I'm fine. Thanks."

"Water? Pie? Protein?" Bitty lightly chirps.

"No!” he didn't mean for the outburst when he looks up and Bitty looks hurt, "Crisse. I'm so sorry Bitty. Its...still weird that you are here."

"Yeah, I guess it is still pretty weird."

"I guess I need some time. To get used to....this." rubbing the back of his neck, "I'll get there." Smiling up at him.

"Okay." Bittle smiling back, "take all the time you need."

 

He hears a car pull up into his driveway. He wasn't expecting anyone today. Not even anyone on the Falcs staff, who gave him as much time as he needs to grieve. He peers out the window and the car looks familiar. 

"Who is that?" Bittle questions.

"I, um. Get in the bedroom." He pushes Bitty up the stairs and place him on the bed, "Don't make any sound."

Bittle nods. Jack close the door as soon as he heard a knock on the door. He calms himself as he opens the door.

"Hey Jackie!” Shitty said. In tow was Lardo who said, "Hey Jack." 

"Shitty. Lardo. Hey. What a surprise." He hug them both, trying to remain cool as possible. 

"Can we come in?" Shitty ask giving his a tall friend a noogie. 

"Oh yeah. Come in, come in." as they all go inside the house.

He should know Shitty and Lardo to drop the friendly smiles and put on their concern faces all over cups of coffee. They sat around the kitchen table. They know him for so long to know he was not himself or falling into his old self. Shitty and Lardo were looking at each other, debating who would be the first to talk. 

"You weren't answering our calls, or texts, or emails the past few weeks. We would check your social media, but...we haven't heard from you or seen you on the ice." Lardo says

"I have been very busy." Jack lies. Well, not really. He has been busy. Busy playing god or Frankenstein to the thing that is now lying on his bed. 

"Jack..." a concern Shitty says

"No, I have been. I have been practicing with the Falcs. We have been talking it slow and no media for a while so that's why you haven't heard. I should be playing again really soon." Jack smiles, hoping it doesn't look too fake. 

Both of his friends seem to buy it or they just weren't going to push it. They probably don't trust him to take care of himself. 

"Where is your bathroom?" Lardo says after some time. 

"Over there." pointing where the guest bathroom.

 

They stay the rest of the afternoon catching up on Shitty's becoming a lawyer and all the stupid bros in his class. Lardo's new art projects and getting ready for her new exhibition. Jack was lucky to have friends like them. It was good talking to them. He knew he was lucky to have good friends like them, caring so much and he feels more of a jerk for not texting them and keeping them updated on his situation. He keeps reassuring them that he will be better at letting them the first to know about his progress. 

"We just have to work around our busy schedules to meet up again. And I promise to answer your texts and calls. I promise to keep in touch."

Shitty wrapping an arm around Jack's neck, "Yeah you better. Don't me drive all the way out here, you asshole." Shitty hugs him. A little too hard. But that was Shitty, making sure he is loved. 

As they hug their farewells, Lardo stays back to talk to Jack a little more privately, while Shitty got into the car.

"I'm so glad you are doing well and you are moving on."

"What?" Jack trying not to panic.

"I saw the extra clothes in the bathroom. Good for you."

"I um.."

"I'm not going to tell Shitty. So whose the lucky fella?" lightly punching him in the arm.

"How do you know its a guy?" He smiles. 

"Just as subtle as a brick as always. Okay, I'm not going to pry, but you deserve happiness Jack."

"Thanks. Same to you." motioning with his eyes towards Shitty. 

Shitty honk the horn. "Okay that's my cue. Take care." hugging him one more time. 

Jack waves them goodbye. 

 

Jack walks back into his house, going into the kitchen there was Bittle was standing by the table. 

"Who were you friends?"

"They were your friends as well."

"Oh, Shitty and Lardo. What did they want?"

"They wanted to check up on me. See how I was doing."

"And how are you doing?"

"I'm good." He grab the scotch bottle, not even bothering to pick up a glass. Unscrewing the top and drinking from the bottle, finishing what left was in it. 

"Are you sure Jack?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." Jack throws the bottle in the trash can, but missed causing the bottle to spread glass shards across the kitchen floor. "Shit!"

Bittle went down on the floor picking up the pieces. 

"No, don't. Please let me do this. I'll get it." He push Bittle's hands away. In the process a shard went into his palm. "Oh shit, crisse. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Its okay Jack. It doesn't hurt." Bittle pulls the glass out. No blood, just a small scar form on his hand. 

Jack look at him with sad eyes. He wasn't a fragile person anymore.

***

Both are lying in bed in the the dark. Something wasn't right.

"If you are going to pretend to be asleep, you should at least be breathing." Jack sighs. 

"Okay. So close my eyes and breathe. Is that it?" Bittle asks. 

"Yeah. I think so."

Bittle's breathing sounds too mechanically and not nature enough for Jack to relax into sleep. "I know your faking it."

"Sorry. Do you want me to stop? Or we can fuck instead." Bitty says 

He switch on the lights, looking at him still wearing Jack's clothes not even bothering to wear his own he brought. It may have look like him but didn't act like him that he was used to. 

"I want you to sleep on the couch." he said slowly

Bittle got up from the bed, "Okay." He was half way out the door when Jack says, "Bitty wouldn't do that just because I ask him to."

"Oh." Going back towards the bed.

"NO NO NO! Sleep on the couch!" He felt angry rising in him. He shouldn't be taking it out on him, but he was. He was angry. Some tears were forming behind his eyes. "Just get out."

"But I thought you said-"

"Get OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" He got off the bed to shove Bittle out of the room. Trying to get in control himself, but failing. He punch him in the chest, feeling how solid he was, "Fight me. Hit me. Just hit me!" grabbing onto his tank tap, resting his forehead on his shoulder. 

"Did he ever hit you? Beside in check practices."

Pushing off on him, "No. He didn't. He would never."

"I do have an advance chirps I could throw at you instead, if you like."

Jack look into his dark brown eyes, "Get out! Get out of this house" He growls. "You are nothing like him. Nothing. Nothing compare to him." He push him down the stairs and out the front door in the night, where Bittle kept walking into the darkness.

***

Jack wakes up the following morning, feeling alone. There was no one besides him as he was accustom to the last few weeks. He felt like a giant asshole for kicking him out. This thing was suppose to help him and it only just hurt himself.

He went to the window and there standing in the middle of his lawn was Bittle. 

He open the window, "Hey." Jack called out.

"Hey." Bittle said.

"Why didn't you go?"

"I have to stay 30 feet from my activation point."

"Where is your activation point, eh?"

"This may come as a surprise Jack but its where I was activated." 

"Haha screw you." Jack thinks for a second, "So you can't just leave?"

"I can if my administrator is with me."

"Please don't call me your administrator. Its weird." scrunching up his face in disguise. 

"Why? I think administrator sounds sexy." Bittle smiles. 

Jack laughs.

"If you are laughing, can I come back inside? I'm feeling a bit like a pink flamingo lawn ornament.” 

Jack shuts the window and got dress.

 

He jumps in his truck and motions Bittle to do the same. Not even chirping him that he had to use the handles to get in. 

"Where are we going?" questions Bittle.

Jack remind quiet on the long drive. Along with Bitty, who was busy staring out the window.

***

It was a steep cliff and long drop off into the ocean. Jack looked down below seeing the sand with the waves crashing below. Both still remaining quiet.

"Noooooo don't do it. Don't jump." Bitty mocks yelling looking at a very serious Jack, "No, seriously don't do it." a little more serious and stern. 

"I'm not going to."

"Good. That's a relief."

"He would of have figured out what I was doing. I never would have done this, but if it had, he would have figured me out."

"Sorry, that's a really hard sentence to process." Bitty looking at him. Yeah, even Jack had no idea what he was talking about. He could feel a panic attack coming. 

"I want you to jump."

"I never expressed any suicidal thoughts."

"Yeah well, you are not you, are you?"

"Honestly, that is another hard one."

"You're...just a few ripples of you. There's no history to you. You're just a performance. You're stuff he performed without thinking and it's not enough. Not enough of my Bitty."

Bitty look sad, "Come on. I aim to please."

"Yeah, well...aim to jump. Just do it."

"Okay, if that is what you want." Bitty went close to edge. This is was not Bitty. Never would be Bitty. Just a perfect face and body that look like him. 

"OF COURSE THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT! He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't even let me do this. He would be scared. He would -"

"Oh" looking down, before backing away quickly " oh no. Don't let me jump. Jack, please don't let me. I'm scared." Bittle's face change. So many emotions going through him plastering on his face. He was shaking. How the software knew has his face crinkles up like that when he was scared. 

"No. No. Its not fair!" Jack screams. He can't cry at this thing. It was not Bitty. Just made to look like him. But it has Bitty's face. He can't cry. Not now. 

"Please please don't make me. Jack, I don't want to go. I don't want to die. Please don't make me die."

"Its not fair! Its not fair!" Jack crys. 

"I'm scared Jack! I don't want to die!" 

The sight of Robot-Bitty crying in front of him was too much to take. His heart was pounding, he was panicking. He couldn't just push him off the cliff. What would happen if they found his body? Their families to hear about this. He look out across the ocean to the horizon and screams out a 'no' as loud as he could. He collapse to ground from exhaustion. Clutching his crying face. He couldn't take it anymore.

***

Jack came home from his three away games. It was pretty late at night when he arrived. Coming into the house, he was bombard with delicious smells and music coming from his kitchen. Leaving his bag by the door, he hesitantly walk into the kitchen. There was Bittle busy cooking over the stove. He turns around, "Hey Jack. I hope you're hungry. I made your favorites tonight." He turns down the volume on his phone. He came over, standing on his tip toes, kissing him on the cheek. "Sit down, sit down."

Jack sit down at the table, looking at him, putting his finishing touches on dinner. Plating the food, Bitty walk over placing the plate in front on him kissing the top of his head. "Thanks. It looks great." Jack mumbles. 

"I even baked your favorite pie, Maple Apple. To celebrate." 

Jack gaze at the food on his plate listening to Bitty animate talking about his day across from him and how proud of Jack he was for getting first star on his games back. 

With no emotions on his face looking at the boy across from him. 

Jack was numb.

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on tumblr @pucksandhockeybutts


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